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The Physics of Prout Table

"Help! Being sucked in by ... Prout Gravity!"

This may sound strange, but keep in mind that we're a group of academic geeks who have an interest in many things science...

In order to describe two of the more common group phenomenon we used some of our college Physics instruction. We came up with Prout Gravity and Critical Mass.

Prout Gravity is the attractive "force" the keeps members of Prout Table together. Much like real gravity, once enough of Prout Table is in any once place, those not present tend to be drawn in if they are not too far away. We believe that Prout Gravity is able to operate over large distances given enough time. As more time is available for the study of Prout Gravity, we should come to a better understanding of how it operates.

To date, only one person has successfully overcome Prout Gravity on a permanent basis: Justin. We believe that is largely due to inter-dimensional travel, as he is still close (in a geographical sense) to many Prout Table members.

For the record, Prout Gravity bears some similarity to Bed Gravity, the force which often causes college students to be late to (or completely miss) classes that are before about 10:00am. For some reason, however, Bed Gravity strengthens with time--seniors are affected more than juniors, juniors than sophomores, etc...

The concept of critical mass is closely related to Prout Gravity. It actually has two interpretations that I'm aware of. The first simply says that when a group of Prout Table folks gets together there is a minimum mass necessary in order for anything "interesting" to take place. Commonly cited numbers for this mass fall in the 3-5 people range.

The other interpretation of critical mass is how it affects the strength of Prout Gravity. It seems that when a particular number of people have gathered in preparation for some excursion, it become far easier to convince those not in attendance that they really NEED to be there. This critical mass is believed to be a bit higher--like in the 6-9 people range.

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Jeremy D. Zawodny / jzawodn@bgnet.bgsu.edu

Updated: April 20th, 1996