I love it when mail arrives that is clearly the result of a copy and past or mail merge process gone wrong. Here's the latest example, which arrived yesterday afternoon:

Hi Jeremy, I am writing you to introduce myself as well as ask you to guide me to the appropriate individual within Google whom I should be in contact with as it pertains to your Financial Data Strategy.

[Emphasis mine.]

It goes on a to say a lot more about the company, but frankly I lost interest after reading that far.

My response goes like this:

Sorry Steve,
Being a Yahoo employee, I have little access to Google's Financial Data Strategy. And, as someone who worked on Yahoo! Finance for three years, I highly doubt they'd be willing to discuss it with me.
What do you think?


I suppose I could have simply ignored the message, but I'm sitting in the car for 4.5 hours today anyway. And besides, what fun would ignoring it be? :-)

Another note I got starts like this:

Hi Jeremy,
I understand you are the Blogger for Jeremy Zawodny's Blog and thought this would be a fun piece for you.

The deductive reasoning showcased in that single paragraph is astounding. I've get to come up with a decent reply to it...

Posted by jzawodn at August 26, 2005 07:03 PM

Reader Comments
# Josh Hallett said:

I often get: Dear Hyku

or just plain: Hyku

when every single post is signed with my full name and I have it a few other places on the site. That would be like calling you Yahoo! I can see it now:

Hey Yahoo!

on August 26, 2005 07:18 PM
# john said:

You should try this:

"Actually, I'm the owner of Jeremy Zawodny's blog, please contact the blogger, not me. I'm not interested."

Ok, sounded funnier before I wrote it...

on August 26, 2005 07:58 PM
# Joe Beaulaurier said:

I once received a list of supposed leads from a trade show. The mfr's rep said I was to follow up on their interest and close the deals. I first sent an letter introducing myself and that I was following up on the interest they expressed in the product.

I got a response back that will live with me forever:

"Joe, Thank you for your letter to Mr. X. We are quite surprised to hear of your contact with Mr. X recently and that he expressed interest in your product. We were under the impression that Mr. X had passed away last year, but maybe we are mistaken. If you have information to the contrary, we would be most interested."

That's a keeper. BTW, the remainder of the list was just as poor. I'd been had by the mfr's rep.

on August 26, 2005 09:55 PM
# Alex said:

"Joe, I've just started at this Jeremy Zawodny's blog and being a new employee hate to put up something as controversial and confrontational as that link to Teddy Bears and Fluffy Bunnies of the World site".

on August 26, 2005 11:49 PM
# DaveMcClure said:

"Hello, this is the franchising department for Jeremy Zawodny Blogs, Inc... if you'd like to apply for a Jeremy Zawodny Blog in your local neighborhood, please click on the link below."

"Also, for a small fee we'd be happy to provide with you the following tips & education courses to increase your effectiveness as a JZB blogger:
1) How to make Corporate Blogging look like you've got a real job
2) How to screw with your enemies via annoying trackbacks
3) How to turn blogging about gliding into a blog vacation :)"

"Please send $50 and your JZB request asap to the folowing address..."

on August 27, 2005 02:40 AM
# jr said:

Only $50? Wow, that's a deal!

Where can I learn how to set up a Jeremy Zawodny Blog, Inc. Franchise in my home town, and does it come with a set of Ginsu knives?

on August 27, 2005 09:11 AM
# Aaron Brazell said:

Why don't I get emails like these? I have a blast with this kind of stuff.

I saw a piece of junk mail come through our mail room one day when stopping by to pick up a package and it started out something to the effect of:

Dear Mr. Northrop Grumman Information Technology,
You are a guaranteed $1,000,000 winner

on August 30, 2005 02:05 PM
# steve said:

I sat up my yahoo account and used a fake date of birth. i have my business website attached to my user id and it is locked(security key problem) is there someone in yahoo who can tell me what date of birth is on file?

on September 3, 2005 02:36 PM
# Jeremy Zawodny said:

Steve: no.

Why did you use a fake birthday?

on September 3, 2005 09:52 PM
# steve said:

My yahoo ID is my full name. I did'nt feel comfortable also giving my DOB. I didn't know it was such a big deal. I would just start another account but my business website is associated with that ID. I'm pretty screwed if I can't get my account fixed. Any suggestions?

on September 4, 2005 04:52 PM
# DAVID PARR said:

QUESTION ABOUT YAHOO! My Yahoo! dsl account was briefly suspended, and when I finally got it back, all of my folders were empty. ATT couldn't or wouldn't say why this happened or offer any help. They also provided a out-of-service phone number for Yahoo!

Is there any solution to this crisis? How can I actually contact Yahoo! about restoring my info that was in my folders?



on October 16, 2007 05:02 PM
Disclaimer: The opinions expressed here are mine and mine alone. My current, past, or previous employers are not responsible for what I write here, the comments left by others, or the photos I may share. If you have questions, please contact me. Also, I am not a journalist or reporter. Don't "pitch" me.


Privacy: I do not share or publish the email addresses or IP addresses of anyone posting a comment here without consent. However, I do reserve the right to remove comments that are spammy, off-topic, or otherwise unsuitable based on my comment policy. In a few cases, I may leave spammy comments but remove any URLs they contain.