I guess this is no real shock if you think about it for a few minutes, but a story titled The Porn Myth in New York Magazine examines the effect of readily available high quality porn on the sexpectations of the current generation.
It's a sad tale that would have surprised people even 10 or 20 years ago when it was apparently common knowledge that exposure to pornography created sex hungry men:
But the effect is not making men into raving beasts. On the contrary: The onslaught of porn is responsible for deadening male libido in relation to real women, and leading men to see fewer and fewer women as "porn-worthy." Far from having to fend off porn-crazed young men, young women are worrying that as mere flesh and blood, they can scarcely get, let alone hold, their attention.
In other words, the fake stuff has raised standards so far that it's hard for real women to compete!
And they know it...
Here is what young women tell me on college campuses when the subject comes up: They can’t compete, and they know it. For how can a real woman--with pores and her own breasts and even sexual needs of her own (let alone with speech that goes beyond "More, more, you big stud!")--possibly compete with a cybervision of perfection, downloadable and extinguishable at will, who comes, so to speak, utterly submissive and tailored to the consumer’s least specification?
Yikes.
While the entire article is worth a read, I can summarize it using one short quote from the first page:
For most of human history, erotic images have been reflections of, or celebrations of, or substitutes for, real naked women. For the first time in human history, the images’ power and allure have supplanted that of real naked women. Today, real naked women are just bad porn.
In related news, check out the story of the stunning size 12 model branded 'too fat' for television. There's a picture of her and the apparently "more ideal" model on the page. It's a stark and somewhat depressing contrast.
Posted by jzawodn at November 28, 2006 02:10 PM
While an interesting assertion, the article appears to be just that - someone's opinion written as though it were fact.
What?! You mean that wasn't intended as an entertainment piece?
Heh.
So, Jeremy, how has porn influenced / changed your life?
"Porn Makes Me Want More Real Sex"
I'm a woman and I've watched porn before - here's my two cents...
First of all, some of these women (= porn stars) have breast implants and wear tons of make-up on their faces. I don't have and don't want foreign objects in my body. Women with two round foreign objects in their body are not attractive (at least to me). In my opinion, it's absolutely absurd that women would insert these things into their bodies. I also don't want to plaster myself with make-up.
Second of all, "porn stars" have sex for money. It's a job. When you look at their faces, their emotions are fake. I don't see real pleasure, closeness/warmth/love between partners, and everything looks, well, forced with very bad acting.
And what about men? Do they compare themselves to male porn stars? Can they compete with them? Does an average man have opportunities to have sex with women who look like porn stars? I think not.
Anyway, we all know having sex with a partner you sincerely love and trust is the best. It's really sad and disappointing that majority of the population think these forced/cold pornographic films are entertaining and compare them to the real world.
Porn Makes Me Want More Real Sex
Bullshit. Looking at web porn just makes me want to fuck my wife. If anything, it augments and focuses. Hardly diminishes.
It's been a few hours, and reading this story again, it is just the biggest load of shit since Cheney said we'd be greeted as liberators. Women LIKE PORN!! Probably as much as men do. Certainly not as often, but probably as much. :)
Hell, most of the great sex blogs are written by women.
I like this quote in the article you mentioned at the end, from the curvy one of the pair: "I like to think men see me as a yummy mummy."
(I wonder how it'd go over if she hadn't said that, but Michael Richards had referred to her that way :-)
And Dan, watch out with comments like the one you left, 'cause you know some smart ass will follow up with "yeah, looking at web porn makes me want to fuck your wife, too!" :-).
oh my god.. did you see that "model" ?
is this the role model my girls aspire too?
it made me sick.
It's interesting that porn "augments and focuses" your desire to have sex with your wife. Not for me. I don't need to watch porn to increase my desire to "fuck" my husband. My husband, alone, is enough.
I guess men really ARE different from women.
I REALLY don't see the need for you to use the word "bullshit" to disagree with my opinion. Using language like that makes you look, well, shallow. When I see people like you, I laugh.
Um, and I don't think your wife would be happy when you go around telling people that you "fuck" her. That's just insensitive. I apologize if I'm wrong. Maybe she likes being "fuck"ed. I guess porn also desensitizes men.
Interesting. But, I can't say I disagree. Just from talking with friends of mine I can this. They see the air brushed, perfectly light, hand crafted scenes and want them for themselves. When they don't get it with their own women they can actually get upset that their women aren't up to par.
What's next Video Games don't cause people to kill each other?
>>Um, and I don't think your wife would be happy when you go >>around telling people that you "fuck" her. That's just >>insensitive. I apologize if I'm wrong. Maybe she likes being >>"fuck"ed. I guess porn also desensitizes men.
I did read some where once that "fucking" is defined as the activity that men take part in while women are making love.
(probly from the same article as women need a reason, men just need a place)
>> It's a stark and somewhat depressing contrast.
The curvy woman won, though.
Oh, I don't care who wants to fuck my wife. I know I'm the only one that gets to. :)
So the two pictures of the models are hugely biased. That is just as bad as porn. It's all in the presentation.
The size 12 was given her best side, was zoomed out, a warm background, she was smiling, had makeup on, soft lighting, correctly fitting clothes and positioned correctly. The other model, was pretty much the exact opposite. A direct-on picture, zoomed in to see every detail, a cold stark (industrial) background, not smiling, no makeup or pale makeup, direct harse lighting, ill-fitting clothes and positioned flat.
I imagine that if the second model was leaning over with elbows on a box, chin in hands, on a soft blue background with some longer hair and a smile; it would be quite a different story.
I'm not contending that the first girl isn't beautiful, she is, but the story manipulation start with the pictures. With proper direction and setup everyone can look like porn stars.
This reminded me of something I saw not too long ago, namely the transition from a "model coming in off the street" to "model on billboard".
I found myself watching it over and over again, amazed at all the things they can do, and forwarded it to the parents of several teenage girls, and a couple of parents of teenage boys, who will be the ones who have their expectations shaped by these sorts of things.
I know a raped girl it is because the guy was watching porn
I can understand how middle-Americans might call "bullshit" on this article, but as a modern-day Brit I can definitely see where this article is coming from. I drive a 17-year old acquaintance to work every day, and I think he suffers from the "real women are just bad porn" mentality. There is definitely a large class of the population who could share this viewpoint.
it's known thing in Islam, watching pron, or ladies boy make you want less real sex, it doesn't make you in love with your wife since you see such things.
I read that article in New York Magazine and thought it rather sad. So many young men are searching for the unattainable and there are very few Giselle Bundchens around (or Jenna Jamisons). Watching women perform on porn sites (and in off-line porn videos) gives an unrealistic portrayal of what "real" sex is like, although frankly you can learn a few pointers on occasion. If you are a young male who is looking for what you consider a perfect body, an always made up face, a woman with not a hair out of place, and wearing sexy clothing you'd be VERY lucky to meet such a woman offline. The rest of us have children, jobs, laundry to do, groceries to buy, and chores and although we enjoy sex we're frustrated knowing we're frequently compared to plastic surgery enhanced bodies who put out on demand in whatever way the adult male imagination can come up with (pun intended).
ya know thats crap, is it our fault most women are money grubbing man killers?, we like the ladies in porn because thats the image of sex we want. were tired of all the bull about it, look and do what these wonderfule ladies do and we would want you too, stop being prostatutes, and be real... porn is great!!!! no yip yap from the mouth like you real women talk, shut up some time... heres a tip, dont talk with my nuts in your mouth... and while your there swallow the semen so there aint a mess.... there i fixed your problum now get a life
Ive been beating off to internet porn for years. its funny because i was having a conversation with my girlfriend the other week ( and many previous times) about how i want her to be more of a slut. Guess porn is making the normal stuff boring.
My friend is 'big' on his porn, and it Definatly doesn't stop him going after girls... hes even got himself a girlfriend now...
yet, unlike me, once i got myself a girlfriend, i stoped with the porn, i have a girlfriend, why would i need porn anymore?
[note I said 'I', the rest of you can continue to your hearts content]
I think the article has some truth to it. Maybe some men get enough with the porn and don't feel they need their girlfriend to get them off.
It is really a shame because women like sex, too, and if the man never wants it because they don't feel their girlfriend is up to par, they begin to feel horrible about themselves.
On the occassion that the man wants sex, if the woman doesn't want to, can you blame her? She feels like she is being compared to some perfect vision of what males deem beautiful.....
That being said, I'd rather have my man watching real porn with unattainable "beauty" than some random real girl online who is more often than not uglier than me...what the hell is that all about anyway?
women who do porn are just making money yeah but i just think that thats wrong for women to sell their bodies. if ur a real man you would get a real girl not jus pictures or a video.
That phiosophy does not reflect the average male's reaction.
Personality and friendship counts for alot in many societies and communities
No matter how good something looks - you still neet aura and karma and a warm human touch
My thoughts? I'm not really sure, I know my boyfriend watches porn but he doesn't talk to me about it. I have a feeling he is embarassed though I'd rather have him talk to me about it so I know why he likes it so much.
I am really not into porn but I'm open to suggestions. I just don't know why he will not talk to me about it.
Also his silence adds to my own insecurity that perhaps these women on "porn" are his fantasy girls and I cannot compete with them. (Though I've seen some of the websites with these "free porn" and some of these girls are def. not pretty).
Ok bear with me because I'm probably going to write a lot. I started working in porn three months ago. Crazy, but I'm just a real girl who does porn. There are plenty of girls who are real in porn, though there's no question that there is a lot of plastic surgery (esp. boob jobs)...but porn is fantasy and over the top that way. Yeah there are ugly girls in porn...sometimes they're popular bc they're good performers or some are shot just because they need people to shoot or they have a nice body. I think unless the ugliness just overwhelms the scene, sometimes sex is sex and watching any sex will get the viewer going.
I've watched porn where it seems forced and you can see the chick thinking "when am I going to get my check?" but I know I have fun when I shoot and do actually orgasm and enjoy myself.
When I watched porn before getting into the industry (and I know this is true for friends who have told me) it was a catalyst for sex or an outlet for fantasies or just "hey I'm horny and want some fodder for masturbation" (especially men who are very visual). And it's not just for men. I know women who watch porn. And there are women directors.
Porn doesn't have to equal real life. It shouldn't be everything and it shouldn't be taken as reality but it doesn't hurt to partake in. I watch porn--hell, I make porn--and I still love real sex. I still like sex and making love and fucking. It's all the same and all different and all fun.
I think some people take porn too seriously and hinge too much on it. It's a fun thing but take it with a grain of salt. And whether your man fantasizes about Jenna Jameson or Angelina Jolie or Gisele Bundchen, if you're insecure then you'll never feel like you're enough. I mean I can understand because I'm a woman and I look at pictures of models and wish I could look like that.
I'm even dating someone who is male talent in the industry and he works with some women who have amazing bodies (enhanced or not) or who are pretty but I deal with it because I know I look at pictures of people I think are attractive and fantasize about them sometimes but that doesn't diminish sex with him or the way I feel about him.
For Greg, yes some women do it for the money AND SO DO THE MEN IN PORN. You may think it's wrong for people to sell their bodies but I've had jobs doing retail or admin or other stuff where I felt like more of a whore than I do having sex on camera with colleagues. Personally, I got into it because I was curious and it's fun...I mean I get to get dressed up and have sex and get paid. There are downsides as with everything but it's a great job and I'm enjoying myself right now.
I don't want to ramble too much. So basically I think people just take it too seriously...porn fulfills a purpose but it shouldn't be everything. Quit reading so much into it. And stop thinking women are so damn insecure.
I just stumbled onto this page while searching for something else and got sucked in, so it's probable that I won't find my way back on here. If you'd like to respond or have questions feel free to email me at lenalang.xxx@gmail.com but please don't harass me because you have some vendetta against porn.
I am a man who is married.There a lot of porn sites whitch have real couples and married couples who are not porn stars but normal people making a little money for deposit for a house etc.Also young girls left on there own so they can ogasim to the stationry camera (no one els in the room).I could give you the web addrresses of these sites but dont Know if i am alowed.The thing about these sites is that every efort is made for these girls to come and i am sure they do.And most of them do it for real normally not with a lot of nose but a lot of mussle spasems and heavy breathing and red fases.
i think men who look at porn are filthy. i never go near a guy who watches porn or even has 'lads mags' they are down grading and i feel pressure to look as good as these air brushed sluts. even though my lovely boyfriend isnt interested in that trash,i know that kind of imagery is everwhere and personally it has affected me badly. porn shouldnt be allowed. and for those people who think playboy is cool.. maybe you didnt know that they published an artcle on 'how to beat your wife without leaving marks'thats porn for you!
thanks for reading this
shona
I'm a 32 year old woman that had no problem with porn 5 years ago. When I started seeing my current boyfriend he told me that he had a porn addiction. My first reaction was, So... I like porn too. My boyfriend is the most wonderful man in the world and I love him with my whole heart. I would do anything for him. Even in the beginning things had to start and finnish with oral. That was O.K. I missed the mutual orgasm and his orgasm inside me but he was such a kind, honest,loving man that I didn't mind. After 6mo he didn't want sex at all anymore, and when he did not only did it have to start and end in oral but I'd have to stop and get him hard again constantly during. It's more work than fun so now neither of us want it. But we still love each other. What can I do to make him want me again?
By the way, I'm not fat and I'm not ugly. My brests aren't fake but they are big and fucking great. Also I like my boyfriend to "fuck" me, he just can't have sex with real women anymore. Not even if there were two of us.
modern Western culture is seriously flawed, but so is the author's logic when she concludes that her orthdox friend is onto something because she wears a bag on her head and her husband is the only one who gets to see her. isn't that kowtowing in the extreme to the dreaded 'male gaze' as much as women who dress like sluts to get men's attention? neither is a solution, it's pretty shokcing she would conclude this way.
the author interviews college students and is disappointed by their supposed sad lives. what's clear to me here is not that porn is ruining society, but that these college kids are mixed up and unsure of themselves. that is, they're like all college kids. if anything this says more about the infanitlization of young people these days. in the author's day, a college-aged person was a resonsible adult, nowadays you aren't expected to have your act together until you're at least 30.
bottom line, people who would let their lives be dictated by porn were gonna take direction from something equally as vapid no matter what. it's disheartening, but we're not all that stupid. Naomi Wolf is upset that things aren't like they were in the 70's, and she may have a point. but she should probably review the way things really were then, i think she'll find women's sexual liberation was never as good as nostalgia makes it out to be. nor is the present as bleak as she paints it.
To the poster who said she had to do all this extra work to keep her man hard etc., cause he was a big wanker, I would suggest you kick him to the curb. No offense, but I had the same type of a guy once due to the same problem (too much wanking) and it just screamed "loser" to me. If he is masturbating sooo much that he's no longer man enough to satisfy his wife/gf sexually happy then I see no point in keeping that around. I loved the guy I was with too, so it was a tough decision, but eventually I just no longer saw him as a man and that did it for me.
This kind of thing appears to be happening more and more often (from what I hear from my girl friends) so it seems that porn is actually _emasculating_ our men. It's really making men seem on the whole rather pathetic, and now when I date I have to check ahead of time to see how controlled by the porn/wanking he is, because otherwise I know he's going to suck in bed. For this reason, I too tend to avoid avoid avoid the porn-consuming males out there.
